Hi, and welcome to week 49!

I lost Skylar last night. Like she died died. I think it threw me into a funk because today (Sunday), depression is kicking my ass and I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to work on my new character. I don’t want to do my math. I just don’t want to do anything. I also had a Facebook Memory of Gucci and decorating his stall today too, which defiantly didn’t help me any. Fiks and I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and that made me a little happier for a while, but I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. I don’t like it.

I ended up putting on The Greatest Showman and watched that while Fiks played Boulders Gate III with his friends. I was singing along, and then I caught Fiks humming along. I told my Cousin what was going on, not sure if it was on purpose or not, and we found it funny. I emailed my instructor about making an appointment for my final, and then asking for an extension on what was due today, telling her the truth that my depression was kicking my ass. She is giving me until Tuesday to finish it, so thankful for that.

After the movie I turned on Dropout and watched some Game Changer for a while, because I couldn’t watch the 49ers game. I kept track of the score on my phone and through a friend who’s a football nut. My brother texted me that he forgot a couple of things for dinner tonight, asking us to pick them up on out way over. I said yes and then I went and got dressed, Fiks not too far behind me. Once we were dressed we hopped into the car and headed down the mountain to the grocery store, got what we needed, and headed to 100.

We walked in and Mom, Poppa and my Brother were all watching the game. It was the last few minutes of the game, and the 49ers were winning. Yay! No happy Ralph on the Ralph Report tomorrow. And we owned them. 42-19.

After the game my Brother, Fiks, and myself started working on dinner for the night… Tacos per request of my parents.

They turned out really well, everyone ate at least 2 tacos. Us kids cleaned up after telling the rest of the events of last night. Then we had some cake and my Brother and Sister left, and Fiks and I went to the grocery store. Price of food has gone up, gas has gone up, rent has gone up, but any raises? Nope. Its mental. Anyway, end rant. We came home and Fiks and my Brother helped my Sister move some stuff down into her garage before coming over. I worked on this for a while before both my Brother and Sister came over, and we put on the first Make Some Nosie episode on Game Changer, then my Sister left and my Brother stayed, so we put on the second Make Some Noise episode. I was going to ask my Brother to help me move the A/C unit but he left to quickly to go home. Fiks and I ran out the garbage and recycling, Fiks saying he wasn’t feeling well but still did it like a star. Afterwards he jumped onto the computer and started playing Boulders Gate III with his friends again, and I did my math for tomorrow (without watching the videos), just to get it over and done with.

I slept pretty well last night, only waking up once, and that was at 1. I reached over to touch Fiks and he wasn’t there, so I opened the door and saw him still at his computer playing. I let him be and crawled back into bed. I slept until my alarm went off, then I got up and got my shake and a cookie and had that for breakfast before math class. Class was okay, kinda hard. My class mates didn’t really want to participate it felt like. I’m not sure if its because they felt lost like I did or what, but we made it through the session and then I called my parents and said good morning. Apparently Fiks and I left our fajita meat over there last night, so if we don’t pick it up today, I’ll go and pick it up tomorrow.

Fiks woke up and the we sat on the sofa and watched YouTube for a while. I talked with our DM about my new character. I was working on him in Hero Forge and Fiks sat down next to me and goes ‘Why are you making Raphael?’ I’m like ‘Who?’ He goes ‘Raphael from Boulders Gate III.’ ‘I have no idea who you are talking about.’ Then he shows me a picture of Raphael…. Yup, very similar. Might change my character to be female now… We watched videos for a while, and then Fiks got up and started working on the kitchen and I started working on math. I reminded Fiks he had a appointment and he ran into the bedroom for the appointment, and I just stayed out in the living room doing math.

He came out and told me how it went, and he told me to remind him to job hunt this week. I said I would. I went into the kitchen to give him a hug, and ended up helping emptying the dishwasher. Then he asked me to start the laundry, I said I’d do it, then I told him I was doing a quiz but he said that was more important than laundry, so I finished that and then started a load of laundry. While I was doing laundry he was working on the fish tank and it was…

He said it was time for a new tank. We’ve had that one for so many years and it needs a real good cleaning but we don’t have anywhere else to put the fish so we can’t do it until we get a new tank. We’re going to go 10 gallons (we currently have a 5 gallon), and I asked him if we could keep the small one and put it in our bedroom with a Betta fish, because I miss having a Betta fish. He said if we get a new tank and after its cleaned up and the other fish are settled, yes. Woohoo!!

My Sister came over and dropped off a package for Fiks to take to work tomorrow. We told her about upgrading the fish tank and then she left. Whatever. I asked Fiks if we could move the A/C unit into the bedroom and then if he wanted coco rice crispy treats after. Yes to moving the A/C unit, and always to the rice crispy treats. While he was unhooking the A/C unit I was attempting to take off the window decals from Halloween (although they are Nightmare Before Christmas) down. And the gel parts came off, but the images didn’t. We’re going to have to get a scraper to get them off. We moved the A/C unit together and then we worked on the rice crispy treats. We added cinnamon and nutmeg to this batch, and it tastes really good.

Fiks didn’t have gaming tonight, so we just kinda hung out and watched YouTube video’s and work on our characters. I made a female version of my character, Lexi, and I’m happier with how her model turned out more than the males, Kayden. I have more of a story for if I play her female too. We got Togo’s for dinner and I worked on my math for my last class tomorrow. I put on Dropout for a while, then I moved to Great British Baking Show for a while before heading to bed.

I read my book for a while before trying to fall asleep. I slept for maybe and hour, then I woke up super itchy and kicky, so I went and hopped into a hot shower. Fiks came to bed while I was in the shower, and I told him I was out if he wanted a shower, and he said he’d do one in the morning.

I tried sleeping on Fiks since he was up reading, didn’t work. He turned out the lights and went to sleep and I tried to sleep and it didn’t work. I gave up around 130 and moved to the sofa and turned on the Great British Baking Show until I fell asleep. I woke up to Fiks kissing me and saying goodbye. I just stayed on the sofa because I had to be there in a few hours for math class anyway. I dozed off and on to GBBS and eventually got my protein shake and then I logged on for my final math class.

Class went fairly well, and fairly quickly. I think we were done in like 40 minutes, and then we talked about the final for 10-15 more. None of us are going in for the final, all doing the online option. I’ve still got to figure out what I’m doing for it. After class I called my parents and said good morning, then I put on Beauty and the Beast and watched that before starting the next load of laundry (towels). I moved the Christmas stuff out of the basement and into the garage, thinking I could get help from Poppa when they came up later. The boxes aren’t heavy, just awkward for 1 person to move.

I put something on while I worked on my math homework. I was almost done with it when my computer crashed and I hadn’t saved my work. So I had to restart from the beginning 😥 . I was halfway done when my parents showed up at my Sister’s house. I went and talked to Mom in the car and then asked Poppa if he’d help me bring up the Christmas stuff and he said yes. We went down to the garage and brought up the tree, the light box, and the ornament boxes. Then we talked for a little bit longer and my Sister showed up. She got them into her house for cheese and crackers. I went down to close the garage and move the laundry, and then I went over to her house for a bit.

I had a doctors appointment at 2, so I came home in time for that and that went fairly well. I got done in time to say goodbye to my Parents and see them off, then I started working on my math again. I got through it this time without my computer crashing, so yay. Got that all done and took a bit of a rest, and then moved some stuff around to put up the tree.

Our nerdy/equine tree is now up.

Its not the best its ever looked, but I like it. Its not overly decorated (Yes, that CAN be a thing). Its mostly horses and our little nerdy fandoms ornaments like Doctor Who and Wall-E. Then there are the horse ornaments I’ve gotten over the years that mostly fill the tree. I’m going to have to get some that Fiks will enjoy. Etsy, Ho!

Found some, now waiting to get paid in order to buy them. I watched TV until Fiks said he was on his way home, then I went down and moved the laundry and waited. Then he texted me he was getting beer, so I told him if there is something he’d prefer for dinner to go ahead and get it and bring it home. He got a taco and a burrito from the local place down the street next to the brewery. He came home, and I made nachos and then we watched a episode of Loki.

Afterwards he jumped onto the computer, we watched some YouTube videos and I put on the GBBS when I got bored of YouTube. I watched that until it was time to go to bed.

I slept okay last night. I woke up wide awake around 3, and then I got up and got a snack and then went back to sleep. I slept through giving Fiks his mumbles and grumbles in the morning. I feel bad about that. I got up and had my breakfast and got dressed for work. I hopped into the truck and went down the mountain to get to work, and I still somehow managed to get stuck in high school traffic leaving 10 minutes earlier than last week. Frustrating.

Work went okay, A was okay. She got hurt last week and is still feeling it. We all complained about E, she’s still not doing anything. Apparently she got a check off list 2 weeks ago and hasn’t worked on it at all, and is telling the other girls what to do. I told G about working with her on the weekend, and L, and how much it sucked. G told me to tell my manager what happened on Saturday. I said I would, but I never saw our manager alone, and one of the girls up front is friends with L, so it doesn’t help to complain in front of her.

After eating I got some really bad abdomen pain, and I wanted to go home, but I pushed through to finish the day. I helped with the dental a little bit, holding the jaw open for A to put sutures in where she had pulled out some teeth. I started rooming clients once I was done helping with the dental, and I roomed that last one and asked if it was okay with everyone if I left a little early. With no objections I packed up my stuff and punched out.

I made my way home, hopped into the shower after doing some shopping (because I got paid), and then I sat down and worked on this. I waited for Fiks to get home, and then he went to shred something and saw that I had jammed something in the shredder. I felt so bad, so… anxious, about it. I didn’t mean to jam it. It just happened. I got a phone call from my Mom’s friend that dinner was done and it was time to pick her up, so I kissed Fiks goodbye and went down to the truck and loaded up and went and got Mom and took her to 100.

Poppa came out and greeted us after Lumi started barking at us. We got Mom in the house and I did a few things for them, and then I made my way home. I called Fiks once I was down the street from home and he moved his car so I could park mine, and he told me he was able to fix the shredder (yay!) My knife was slightly damaged in the process, but since I stuck the shredder if felt like a fair deal. I made a sammich for dinner, he did chicken nuggets. He played Boulders Gate III and I watched TV until it was time to go to bed for me.

I slept okay last night, I only woke up once, which is good for me. I didn’t even get out of bed, just turned my audiobook back on and fell back to sleep. I remember giving Fiks his mumbles and grumbles and then I dozed for a little bit longer before my alarms went off. I got up and had my breakfast shake before going and getting dressed for work and packing my lunch. Since I was doing surgery/dental today, I got to be there at 8. After I was ready I ran down to the truck and man, was it cold! I turned on the heater and headed down the mountain.

I was a few minutes late into work, but that was okay. I didn’t get yelled at or anything. The day went fairly well. S got mad at A right before the dental, so I had to deal with her short temper and bad mood, which was not fun. I don’t really remember what happened that day, because its Sunday now and I didn’t keep up with this like I was trying to.

I’m going to call it here for now.

~Just keep swimming~