I broke the T.A.R.D.I.S

So today was a little rough for me. Nothing really bad happened, just frustrating things.

I was leaving to go to class this morning, and my beloved Doctor Who bag broke. The strap that goes over and under my shoulder tore from the back. Thankfully nothing fell out or broke when this happened. So for the rest of the day I carried it in my arms by wrapping my arms around the body of the bag, nervous that the other straps would break.

I took the medicine that makes me hyper this morning, and a lovely side effect of the medication is headaches. Well, I got that. And then it changed into a migraine. With the fluorescent lights and all the noises, my head started to feel like it would explode. I left class about 20 minutes early to help save my poor little head.

Today in class we talked about a few things. First we talked about the stone age bias, which was discovered by Rick Hanson. It talks about how our brains are still stuck in the stone age where we had to be on alert all the time for predators. So how our brains are always looking for danger and kind of focusing on the worst. How that little bad things stick in our brain more than the good experiences. He has different talks on how to rewire and change our thinking. He has books out too. One of the videos that was recommended is called Take In The Good.

We went around the room talking about something which helps us cope, just a little bit. This is for anxiety, depression, bi-polar, schizophrenia, just to names a few. I learned that mine is doing the adult coloring books, reading a book (when I can focus long enough), listening to music, grooming my horse, playing with my fidget pony, and when its bad taking my medication for anxiety and panic. Everyone has something that helps: meditation, music, breathing exercises, exercise, taking a shower, and cooking.

We then discussed CBT (cognitive Behavior Therapy). And we looked at the model and got a blank page so that  we can fill it out. There was a page that focused on warning signs of stress. Needles to say I put a star down next to about 50% of them. I’m sure I probably relate to more than that, they just aren’t a common sign for me.

I didn’t make as much progress on my dragon that I wanted to. But maybe that’s a good thing because it means that I was participating in class and paying attention today.

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When we got home, my horse had been standing out in the rain, so he was wet. His non waterproof blanket was wet. But he seemed very proud of himself for this. Part of me wanted to yell at him, part of me was like “It’s just what he does. I know this.” I think the exacerbation was brought on by the headache. And then I discovered that he didn’t eat his breakfast while we were gone, which makes me worried. When he stops eating he doesn’t feel good and won’t take his medicine. When he doesn’t take his medicine he totally looses his appetite. I usually end up having to inject the medicine into him for three days until he gets his full appetite back.

Oh, and the instructor kept saying “Groovy”. So all I could think about was Bruce Campbell  and Army of Darkness. Maybe I’ll watch that tonight…

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