So isn’t it funny how brains work? What things come to our minds while we are sleeping?
Last night sleeping was rough. I woke up about 3am and just tossed and turned the rest of the night away, but thankfully today is my day off so I don’t feel guilty about taking a nap or being a bit lazy today.
But for some reason I was dreaming and worrying over stuff out of my control. Like I was worrying about the PD that I volunteer with passing inspection and everyone having a good time. Weird, right? There is nothing that I can do to make it better. I could have done something. Offered some time to help clean it up or something. Maybe its guilt that is making me have weird dreams and feelings.
But that doesn’t explain the rest of my dreams and feelings. Like I’m feeling resentful towards a friend. True, I fucked up and said something that I shouldn’t have. I’ve apologized publicly and privately, and still there is nothing but a cold breeze from them. No interactions. It just sucks because I thought that we were close and were better than this. I am hoping that after some time things will get better and that we’ll be able to fix it.
I also have a friend who talking to is like pulling teeth. I don’t know why I keep trying. I read all of these things about friendships and everything, how not to interact with people, yet I find myself doing it. Because they mean a lot to me and have been in my life for a while. They have been an important person in my life, helping me do things that I never thought were possible.
I guess what I am saying is that people suck. Some people. Not all of them. Or I am just feeling grumpy towards people today. I don’t know. This isn’t what I was planning on talking about but its what is flowing out of me today, so obviously its been on my mind for a while now.
So this morning I went to the optometrist and got my eyes checked. There was a new doctor there, I guess the original one retired or something. Kinda sad. But everything went fine. My prescription did change in my right eye, but that’s okay. Now they are both the same, so I’ll be saving some money that way.
After that I picked up my mom, took her home, and hung out with Gucci for a while. I let him graze once we found and good spot in his mind and then my mom came out and we talked for a little while. Then Gucci got tired of grazing, at least in that spot, and we walked back up the hill to the trailer where we started brushing him. He was super muddy after rolling yesterday. But he was nice and clean when I left him, so yay. I’m sure that’s changed by now.
See? Super muddy when I took the photo.
I’ve also been working on stuff for our Darkshore bid. Its due next Tuesday. I don’t know when we’ll find out. I can’t really talk about what it is I’m working on, because it might give it away, and I want it to be a surprise for as long as I can be. But I’m going on websites and getting prices and coming up with a budget for things. I sent a copy to my boyfriend last night of my old one, but I saw that prices had changed dramatically so I figured that I needed to do a new one. Also some stuff isn’t available anymore, which changes things.
I was bad and I took a nap today. Its seemed to have made me less grumpy, for now. We’ll see how long this lasts. But as I type this I’m still yawning. Great.
Okay, back to working on Darkshore.
Just keep swimming!