Last night when my boyfriend went home we went for a bike ride along the road that runs along the beach, and then we stopped at a local place for dinner. They serve Hawaiian style food there and it is so yummy. He was still stuck on the craving of Khalua pork from Darkshore. Apparently he didn’t get enough there and once he smelled it he was done and wanted more.
We like it there because the food is good and we can ride up on our bikes and just lean them against the table where we eat. When we show up we’ve been lucky in that most of the time people are eating inside or its just after the rush so we don’t have to worry about our bikes blocking other diners.
After our bike ride we came home. I finally finished my wolf picture that I’ve been working on for 2 weeks while watching Burn Notice. He’s all done in the gray scale tray that I got from the big prismacolor box set, minus the green and the yellow for the eyes. But I am super happy with how he turned out.
So today was my last day in IOP. I’m anxious now that I’m done there. I really enjoyed the checking in and having help and guidance every morning. Knowing that if something went wrong in the hours after class I’d be able to talk about it and be understood without judgement. Hearing other people’s struggles and knowing that I wasn’t all alone. I don’t see anyone until the end of the month doctor wise. I do have 3 classes to attend next week though.
In class we talked about DBT, Dialectical Behavior therapy; specifically distress tolerance. A quick thing about DBT, it was founded/discovered/invented/created by Marsha Lineham. “Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a type of psychotherapy that combines behavioral science with Zen concepts like acceptance and mindfulness.”
We talked about some phone apps that are available to help people with mindfulness and meditation.
- Calm
- Mindfulness (this is one that I have and use)
- Stop, breathe, and think
- SAMapp (another one I use, but this is more for anxiety and panic)
If you click on the distress tolerance link above you will basically find everything that we went over in class today. I almost think that they printed everything from that website. It is highly educational on the subject.
One of the instructors said a few quotes that really stuck with me again. One is when we were talking about suicide. “Do not do a permanent action for a temporary feeling.” She said this can also apply to those who cut, or who like to abuse their prescription medications. There is also “Be kind and gentle to yourself. You are growing.” This is about accepting out situations and what’s going on with us. We’re kind to other’s but not to ourselves, and right now is a time when we need it the most.
We then did a mediation using progressive muscle relaxation and a body scan. I had a difficult time with it today, I was feeling super fidgety and anxious and was unable to relax. But I did work on two more pictures today.
Have you heard of Toby Allen? He’s an amazing artist who does pictures regarding mental disorders. He turns them into ‘monsters’ and gives them definitions. (Artist disclaimer: The artwork is not at all intended to make light of these conditions but instead is intended to give these intangible mental illnesses some substance and make them appear more manageable as physical entities.)
I came home from class and realized that I needed to clean my saddle, half chaps and boots for my job interview tomorrow at a riding stable. I don’t want to say where yet. But I am super hopeful. Its riding horses 1-3 days a week for 4-6 hours a day. And I’d get paid for it! It’s like my dream job. But I would still keep my security job (which I have clearance to return to next week.) So I went to my local tack store and picked up some cleaning supplies, and went to drool over their model of the Ariat Volant Boot.
Now isn’t that a sexy tall boot? Â :: dreamy sigh ::
Anyway, onto cleaning my stuff. So I cleaned my saddle and leathers with soap and then I went over it with conditioner. My saddle was thirsty. Absorbed that up super quick. I haven’t cleaned my tack in a while, and I guess it shows. I’m just lucky its been stored in a good dry place and it hasn’t lost its form or strength. I’ll have to go over it with conditioner one more time before tomorrow. Then I’ll probably do it after every time I ride Gucci, which is once a week currently.
Equine Mistress of the Dark 