Sometimes friends and friendships suck. Especially when you basically become a ‘scheduled friendship’.
And I don’t mean trying to hang out with someone. I mean being only able to talk to someone on certain days. I have a friend who I can only talk to now like 2 days a week because his girlfriend doesn’t like me and he won’t come clean about talking to me. This guy was my best friend and mentor for years. We talked every day, we could talk about anything and everything, and then last year it all changed.
We stopped talking.
Then this year we ran into each other at school. We kind of started talking again. Not on the regular, but at least once or twice a week. Not all day conversations, just short ones. Oh, just talking about this has me on the verge of tears.
And then last week I sent him a text. Just a link to a video. I got a response the next day saying I can only text him 2 days a week. How horrible is that? I was fine with not texting him on weekends. I get it. But limiting how often I can talk to you? Does anyone else think that that is a dick move?
Is this friendship even worth saving anymore? I really don’t feel like I need this bullshit and drama in my life. I have enough going on without having a ‘scheduled friendship.’ But I feel better knowing that he is… was… just a text away.
Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend is my best friend. I love him and support him and I know I wouldn’t be here without him. I have my cousin who is more like my sister. I have my friend who’s my partner in crime, ever since I moved to the states we’ve been inseparable. I have my friends who I talk to on a regular basis.
But struggling with this friendship is like tearing on my heart strings. When we stopped talking it felt like part of me was torn away. I’ve had that happen twice now. Both with guys who were my friends. They both share the same profession. Maybe its just part of the personality drawn to that job.
Stormfly made it through the night! Yay! I was worried because he was kind of still all last night after we brought him home. The car ride was very splishy splashy.
I added the little heater we got for him (the black cord coming out of his tank). Apparently Beta fish like their water a little warmer, and the temperature dropped last night when we got him home. It is currently sitting at a happy 72 degrees. Now I have to figure out what to do with the books he displaced. 2 whole series. Kim Harrison and Kelley Armstrong. I guess I might have to reorganize my bookshelf to have the books I want on it and then get rid of the ones I don’t want anymore… But at least my coloring books are still there.
Today is the start of my boyfriends vacation. Yay. But because he’s smart, he’s still in bed sleeping. While I’m up awake having burn notice play in the background. I kept forgetting this yesterday and kept trying to plan my day around him working. I was going to have today be a Disney day, where I just watch Disney Movies and be lazy and stay home all day until class tonight. That still might be the plan, I don’t know. It just depends on what he wants to do also.
I’ve been listening to Pandora Radio station Tiki Tiki Tiki Room for the past hour or so as I putter around the apartment. I’ve done some coloring. I found a fishy picture so now I’m trying to color it to match Stormfly. Right now it looks rough but I think that it’ll get there.
I’ve done some work for Darkshore XX. Trying to figure how many table covers we need and how much of a budget I need for decorating. I think that I can get away with a budget of $500 for decorating and supplies.
I also think that I will watch the movie some time this week, because someone said they wanted a battle game around a part of the movie. We haven’t a game yet for that part of the movie, but I have a name for it, I just need to see what gets inspired from it.
So one of my grounding techniques that has arisen is playing Doctor Who: Legacy. Its a really cool puzzle game, and you get to play with charcters from the show and do fun stuff. They have all the doctors and companions. Some you can buy, some you earn. But I have fun doing it. If you’re a whovian, or just want to try a new puzzle game, you should do it.
So today we went back to my parents house to finish our laundry… Which we forgot. Gucci had rolled and was super dusty so we spent half an hour grooming him. And then we decided to do a recycling run to get money to go to the San Francisco Zoo this week. So we’ve been busy most of the afternoon.
Also since its #NationalPoliceWeek I am going to post something positive law enforcement every day. It can be an image or a story. But this is what I want to do and what I will do. This is for the cop who saved me years ago.