Midnight Ponderings

Okay, so I might have forgotten how much working grave shift sucks. Especially when you are solo. They aren’t so bad when you have people to talk to. Last night was boring, which I guess is a good thing. I did have to kick a few people off the campus, but they were okay about it. Don’t creep around your old campus at 10 pm, okay kids? You make people like me wonder what you are doing. This was my main protection detail, and it will remain my protection detail for the next few nights.

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I also got buzzed by the local PD who ran my plate while talking to me. Yes Officer, I know what you were doing! And yes, I am code 4 (okay/current) all around. I used to work for you guys so even though you were an officer I don’t know, I know the tricks and the drills. So Ha! But thank you for giving me shit about sleeping on duty. You made me determined not to. Even on my lunch when it would have been okay.

So I worked on coloring. I got a new coloring book called Stress Less Coloring: Animals. I really enjoy this book series. This is the second book I own by them. The first is Stress Less Coloring: Fantasy. That’s the book that I carry around in my bag so that I can color anytime, anywhere. I think I’ll replace it with the animals book for now, give myself something different to work on.


So back to what my main protection detail of the night was. It was okay. I would sit and watch the traffic go by when there was some. I was able to watch the stars for the brief moments that they were out. I watches the fog and the mists creep through the night and under the lights in waves. The fog seemed to have a life of its own, triggering the motion sensitive lights on campus.

I started out my night trying to listen to the last audio book in the Nightstalker series: Time Patrol. But I just couldn’t seem to get into it. I was smart and downloaded some Podcasts at home just in case that happened. I downloaded Hollywood Babble On, The Nerdist, Welcome to Nightvale, Stuff you should know, Stuff to blow your mind, Stuff you missed in history class, and many more. That’s just the ones I listened to last night.

So in order to stay awake I did a lot of walking around the track. I should have been smart and turned on my fitness tracker. Oh well, I’ll do that tonight. And I went and got a coke, candy (now and later’s), and gum. I was bad. That’s not good for my diet at all. But anything in order to stay awake. Show that cop that he was wrong!

Nah, I love this local PD. Most of them have great attitudes and are fun people. I might not work for them anymore, but I still care about them and they are still important to me. I need to get back in being more involved with them.

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I’m listening to The Nerdist with Chris Hardwick and Craig Ferguson and they are talking about worry, control and focusing on the worst. It is interesting on their perspective on life, and how the worst is always publicized. Then how some stories are turned into “click bait”. Chris talked about how positivity and negativity is a choice, and he’s right; it is. But for some of us being positive takes so much energy and when you are running on empty everyday it seems impossible. Where being negative is easier, it’s easier to worry and be sad then find the good and be positive some days. At least that is my experience and opinion.

“Transitions are uncomfortable and difficult.” – Craig Ferguson.
“Learn from the past. Plan for the future. Live in the present.” – Chris Hardwick.

Craig also talked about the wise friend idea. Treating yourself like you would a good friend. I think that it is a good episode to listen to. Especially if you have problems with worry or control or being positive. Between the serious topic its funny. It might be the exhaustion talking, but it made me laugh and smile and helped the time pass. Episode 787: Craig Ferguson Returns.

I have less than 4 hours to go, yay!

Thankfully I was smart to write down my first draft and my ideas and rambling. It was nice to hear that other people, famous people, have the same struggles that I do and what they have done to cope or deal with them. I know that there are others out there, I see them in my group classes. But the podcast still helped. I didn’t listen to the episode knowing those topics would arise. It just happened and it was a nice surprise.

Along with my new coloring book, another book showed up called The Worry Cure. It’s a self-help book to help people like me who worry a lot. But it’s also for people for who just worry occasionally according to the blurb on  the back. But don’t try to read it while listening to a funny podcast, it won’t stick in. At least for me it didn’t. This book was recommended reading for my generalized anxiety class.

Day 18: The Story behind my blog name.

The meaning behind my blog name? Well, there really isn’t much meaning behind it, its more of a story.

My boyfriend and I went to a Greg Proops The Smartest Man In the World podcast a few years ago. And we were sat up next to the stage. He was talking to someone and he commented that they could go and raise Palominos out in the desert. I commented that Palomino’s are a color, not a breed. Well, being right next to the stage he heard this. He then asked me about my horse history, trying to give me shit and I was able to stand my ground. So whenever he made a horse reference for the rest of the night he  would check in with me and so he called me his “Equine Mistress of the dark”, because he couldn’t see me. So that’s how the name came to be.

Back to everyday life…

I didn’t sleep as long as I wanted or needed to. From 7 – 1. So 6ish hours. I’m really hoping to take a nap later in the day so that I’m okay for tomorrow. I still have to go and pick up my saddle and stuff for the new job. I’m really hoping for more sleep. Or maybe I’ll sleep during my hour lunch break, I don’t know.

There is not much more to say. Minus I am tired and wish to get some more sleep before my night starts again. And that I am hoping for the best for tomorrow with my lack of sleep.

Just keep sleeping. Swimming. I meant swimming.

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