So, how was everyone’s weekend?

Mine was okay. I worked Saturday and Sunday (today). It was okay, minus waking up with really bad anxiety about going into work and doing my job. It feels like I’m not doing my best there, when I am. I have to ask the office for some supplies out there, like getting more log papers. But its just kind of boring to sit in a booth for 6 hours and log who comes and who goes. I did go around the close streets a few times. I haven’t braved the hill that I got stuck on again. I learned my lesson from that.

Usually on Sundays we do a big family dinner and meet at either my parents, my brothers, or my sisters place. This week we didn’t because my mom wasn’t feeling well, which is fine. My dad told me to stay away and not risk getting what she had, I’m totally down for not catching whatever she has. I was worried about meeting up with everyone tonight with what happened earlier this week. I was afraid of this big confrontation and yelling match for some reason.

My anxiety level being high this week hasn’t helped me any. Almost daily I’ve had to take my medicine which takes the edge off my anxiety so that I can function. Its been better since we increased my other medication that I take at night time, but for me its just frustrating. I was doing so good for a while, I was only taking my anti anxiety meds like once I week. I was feeling normal, no panic attacks. Then for some reason over the past two weeks I got derailed and everything has come back.

I see one of my doctors tomorrow, which should be good and help me out. But I’m anxious about how the appointment is going to go because of being off for the past two weeks. I was fine last time I saw this doctor, everything was positive and going well. I know that they only way to get help is to be honest about what has been going on. But last time that happened it didn’t go so well for me, so that’s why I am nervous about tomorrow. But maybe everything will be fine since I feel a little better now.

We haven’t really done much since I got home. We went out and got some change so that we could do the laundry, and then we swung by and got some dinner at a local restaurant. Pancakes for me (yum), chicken and waffles for my boyfriend. I do not get the lure and the appeal of that combination, but my boyfriend loves it so… yeah…

I guess that’s it for today. I just wanted to sit down and write something today. Get some of the things that have been spinning around in my mind out.

Just keep swimming!

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