Hey everyone,

How is your Wednesday going? Mine is alright.

I haven’t really done much today. I continued my love affair with the bed and its warm snuggles. But since I didn’t really have anything to do today I managed to sleep in and stay wrapped in its substituted warm embrace since it was empty because my boyfriend had left it to go to work.

I’m kind of frustrated today. And sadly its over stuff that I don’t want to share because I feel like I’d just be repeating myself. I hate what is going on currently, how its effecting people I never thought it would. It’s not fair. I don’t think that what is going on is being handled properly, and my boyfriend thinks he has a solution to the problem, but getting it to work is going to be the issue. I just wish everything was back to normal.

I write this blog to share my experiences, to get out what is going on in my head or what is going on in my day. This isn’t for attention. It’s a way for me to be some what open since I’m normally a quiet, shy person who doesn’t voice problems or opinions that often. But this has been something that has helped me out, and I feel like I’ve come a long way from when I started. I might not share everything on this platform, but I do share. This is the best way for people trying to understand what is going on.

Its true, I do have issues. I have anxiety, depression, PTSD and a few other problems that I don’t want to name. But almost everyone has some kind of problem, it doesn’t have to be the same as what I have. They could have something totally different. But they still have problems. The best way to help someone with problems is to be there for them, not to punish them and push them away. Which is what I feel is happening in my life. People are finding out or getting a glimpse of what is going on in my life and they are just wanting not to be involved with me anymore. Which sucks.

People suck.

Um, so on to my day. I left the warm embrace of the bed after lying in bed for a little bit while I was waking up. I got dressed and went over to my parents house to go see them and see what I needed for Gucci this week. Well, my parents weren’t home, but Gucci was. So I gave him an apple and looked over what feed we needed for the month. While I was going over the feed Gucci dropped the apple bite after bite so I ended up having to keep picking it up for him. I think that it became a game to him.

So I went to the feed store and got what I needed. Hay, cubes, senior, and bedding. Thankfully it all fit into my little truck. It was close with how they filled up the bed of my truck. Since I was in the neighborhood I went the to the dealership where we got the trucks looking for some pamphlets for my parents since they are thinking of replacing my dads car (which got totaled, btw). But they didn’t have any, which was frustrating. But it’s not like I was there to buy a vehicle today.

I made my way back to my parents house and saw that they still weren’t home. I unloaded the truck all by myself, which is fine, it just takes a lot longer. After I unloaded the truck I got Gucci out and gave him a nice grooming and put some fly spray on him and let him wander around while I was working in his stall. I put down a new bale of bedding so he has somewhere soft to sleep at night. It’s not that he was totally out of bedding, it was just getting low and was old, dirty stuff.

Unlike the cute foal above, he did not get into any antics today. To my knowledge. Not while I was around at least. But the clip above makes me smile… which is why its in here today.

I haven’t really done anything since then. I’ve done a few errands. I paid a few bills. That’s about it. My boyfriend recommended trying to go for a bike ride, But I feel like I don’t have enough energy for it. Its weird. I don’t know. I might go for a bike ride when its a little cooler and the traffic isn’t as… crazy. Everywhere I’ve gone today the traffic has been horrible and people don’t know how to drive.

Oh, I had group last night. It was okay. It was the first time I’ve gone to group in a few weeks and it was hard. I was in a seat where I had my back to the door which is a huge anxiety inducer for me, but I was so nervous about moving seats afterwards. I managed to read aloud when I was asked to and I participated in the class when needed. But fidget pony came in very handy yesterday. After about 10 minutes into the group I pulled him out and he didn’t leave my hands until the class was done. I forgot how hard group classes can be. But I seem to do better.

We were given some homework to do from the group. I decided to focus on something that I do on autopilot, like brushing my teeth or driving. I’m meant to be more mindful and aware of what I am doing at the time. So I’m going to give that a try for the next week. To be more mindful when brushing my teeth.

That’s it for today. Thanks for listening/reading. I really do appreciate it. And I appreciate the support that I get from everyone. I may not say it enough, but I do.

Alright. Enough rambling.

Just keep swimming!