Hey everyone,

I know its been a while since my last entry. Over a week in fact. Its just that I wasn’t sure what to blog about. I know that I keep saying that I do this for me and I don’t care what other people thing or say, but part of me does. And I’m sure for my non-equestrian readers it gets kind of boring real quick. I’m not saying that you all get bored, I’m sure that some of you find the horse stuff interesting…. but yeah. I’m not really sure where to go with this. I’m not sure where to go in general. We will just see what comes out of me while I type this.

Monday was filled with doctor appointments. Well, 2, but they were spaced out 3 hours apart so it took up most of my day. The doctors office is an hour away from where I live too, so go ahead and add two more hours to the time. I started some new medicine, one that doesn’t have the side effect of me gaining weight, which has been a problem. Its actually meant to help me loose weight, which will be nice one it starts happening. I know that weight loss takes a while and it takes effort on my part. Eating better, working out, ect., but for some reason my brain is expecting a miracle to happen. To have the weight magically come off suddenly. I’ll place some of the unreal expectation on Doctor Who…

Whovians will get what that little thing is. But for those of you who aren’t into Doctor Who its called an Adipose. In the episode where we meet these adorable creatures made of fat that come off a pound or two at a time they are part of a diet pill. They aren’t bad guys or evil, just adorable innocent pounds of fat. Its also an actual thing in us humans, Adipose. So it was a smart play on the word on the creators behalf. Or the writers… Hrm… not necessarily the same people.

On Tuesday I worked horses. Well, I tried to. That new medicine that I started has me feeling funny, like its affecting either my heart rate or my asthma. Either way, not good. I felt really weak and light headed. Just tacking a horse up took my energy, which isn’t a normal thing for me. I know that I’m a little out of shape and fat and that riding normally winds me, but it shouldn’t happen at the walk. And I don’t normally get light headed and feel my heart pounding in my chest. Part of me walked it off to not sleeping well the night before and the smoke from the Sobranes fire  down south. The smoke crawls in with the fog and hangs out while it is burning off in the morning. It makes things difficult for those of us who have the shitty problem at being shitty at breathing.

I mean, what a disease to have. Out of everything. You have to be shitty at breathing. And I know I shouldn’t complain, I know that people have it a lot worse than I do. But seriously, I have to suck at breathing? Guess that’s what I get for being the last kid in the family and getting the genetic left overs.

Oh, and Tuesday night I had group, so I had to drive back to my doctors office an hour away to do this. And the class seemed to go okay. I always feel like I have to participate and behave because my doctor runs this group. You would figure that would mean that I would be more relaxed in class, and I am to a point. The group is small, less than 10 people, which is nice. Because the last group that I attended for the same topic had well over 30 people. Can we get social anxiety to please stand up?

Wednesday I didn’t really do too much. I think I just stayed around the apartment for the most part. I did go and see Gucci and give him his new bedding for the week, so I did that. I’m not nearly doing as much with him as I would like or as much as I should. I know that I complain about this a lot. And its all to do with me, not him. I love him to death and I know he’s a good boy. He’s safe and he’s happy at the stall at home, but I would still like to find somewhere affordable to board him so that we can start getting back to work. Maybe that is the problem. Because I am working with horses that are workable I don’t want to work with mine who isn’t. Maybe. I’m not really sure. I would sure like to figure it out though. He deserves more.

Thursday I worked again. I didn’t talk about it on Tuesday because I went on a rant about how much it sucks to suck at breathing, but my boss was gone this week. Her daughter just had a baby so my boss had gone to spend some time with her daughter and baby. On Tuesday I had help, kind of. She didn’t show up until I was done with the horses, but I had someone to help with all of the horses. Thursday I didn’t. I think my count for Thursday was 6 horses. I rode 2 and then lunged 4. I tried really hard to ride 3 but that same problem from Tuesday arose and since I was by myself I thought it was safer to lunge rather then get light headed and possibly pass out.

And then that brings us to today, Friday. I worked my security job today. I’m taking over Friday-Monday’s now. I think that I might have bit off more than I can chew regarding this, working 6 days a week between both jobs. Before it was fine, but now when I have some days where I struggle just to get out of bed, not so much. But I need the hours and the time to keep up with my health insurance with I need so much right now.

I am still job hunting. I haven’t found anything that has totally caught my eye yet, but maybe I’m just being to picky. I don’t care about having my nights, I more care about having my weekends back. I also don’t want to loose my horse job, I love that. So if I could find something that I could work after my horse job/mornings and then work the afternoon/evenings that would be perfect. And if I could have my weekends off.

There is an event tomorrow happening at the land Crimson Wood. Its called Dunes Day and they go and play amtgard on the beach. I wish that I could go. I’ve always wanted to go but I’ve always wound up working and it sucks major balls. I think that my boyfriend is going to go, which is good, I want him to go and have fun. I just wish that I could go with him. We have good  friends up in that land. I could hang out, take photos, play if I want to play, talk to people if I want to talk. Maybe next year.

To be honest that went better then expected. I got through a lot, even if I did get sidetracked once or twice… But I got things out, which is good, right? That is what this blog is for anyway. Well, one of the reasons I have it. The other is to keep track of my progress on topics, to see my improvement. Hard to see improvement when I don’t write stuff down for a week, huh?

Oh well. I’m not sure what we are going to do tonight. I kind of hope that we just stay home and can watch something here. Or maybe go out and rent a movie. Last night we went and saw the Rifftrax Mothra movie. I had never even seen Mothra before, so it was an entertaining experience. I like it more when I have seen the movie before, know the lines and the story so that I can enjoy the jokes and puns more instead of focusing on what the story is, like I did with this one. But I still found it funny. The next one is one for Halloween. I’m sure that we will go and see it. But that is a long time away. Over 2 months. There is the camp out next weekend and then Feast of Mars before I need to start worrying over that.

God I hope I get time off for that camping trip. I asked for it off, I’ll have to double check with work this week to see if they are going to be cool and  give me the weekend off. I hope so. I could do with a little break and a little camping….

I guess that is it for today.

Just keep swimming!