A shy hello

Hi all,

I haven’t forgotten about you, you followers of me. I just haven’t been up for writing a blog in a while. I haven’t felt creative. I haven’t felt like sharing what has been going on in my life. I’ve kind of retreated into myself again.

But in general I’m doing better. I’m on some new medications which seem to be helping making me better. I haven’t had a panic attack in over a month, which is good. With my new medicine I’m sleeping a good 6-8 hours a night, and then just tossing and turning until I get my lazy ass out of bed. I’m on a new medicine that is meant to help give me some energy, I just started it on Monday so I don’t think its quite kicked in yet. Or maybe it has. After all, I’m here talking to you guys and gals.

Lets see… what else.

Oh, fiancé  (Fiks) and I are moving this month. New town, same county. So I guess its not that big of a move. But for me it is. I’m scared and anxious and stressed out about moving. Fiks doesn’t seem too stressed out about it, he’s currently lying on the sofa playing on the PS4 before he has to go to bed stupidly early so he can get up stupidly early and go to work in the morning. He’s getting up at 2am people!

The apartment is a mess and I’m not really sure where to work next. I’ve been working on emptying out my bookshelf, which I still haven’t completed. I think I just need help. And boxes. Lots more boxes. The first box I filled up with Breyer horses and photos.


It made my bookshelf look really empty and small by taking all the breyers off the top and the shelves and shoving them into a box. I’ve also done about 4 boxes worth of books. It will probably take at least 2 more to empty out the shelf. And then I might take the bookshelf its self over and empty everything onto it so that we can reuse the boxes. That sounds like a good idea to me. We’ll see if it actually happens tho.

I’m going to take one weekend off work, close to the end of the month, so we can move everything out of our current place.

I saw a silly sign on my way home from work the other day. It made me laugh and smile.


Gucci is doing good. He’s gaining weight after loosing probably close to 200 lbs. That’s a lot for a horse. We never did figure out why he was loosing weight/stopped eating. Fiks and I spent some time with him today, just grooming him and trying to take some selfies with him. He was a good boy eventually and so we got a good selfie with all three of us in it. I wonder if  he’d be a good boy and let us take some engagement photos with him…. hrm…. I’ll have to ponder on that. But first we need to find a photographer in this country. We both agreed on who we would use if we could have our dream wedding in England. Sigh. On well.

Wedding stuff: No official plans yet. We are aiming for 2019ish. The one venue we did inquire at no longer does weddings because they are a non-profit. Sucks balls. It would have been a totally cool place to have a wedding. No, I’m not telling where.  I’m picking up magazines and looking in them, doing research so it isn’t all so overwhelming when things start picking up. I have been looking at wedding dress photos, and I am drawn to a certain style. But it might not look good on me once I try the dress on, you know?

Plus we need to throw/have an engagement party first I think. Not just jump straight into the deep end of the pool and drown. Ya know.

Anyway, I think that’s it for now.

I’ll try to do better and write more often in the future.

Just keep swimming!


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