How has it been a year… (Week 13)


I woke up at the ass crack of dawn today, to make sure my Mom got up for the nurse that was coming over to help take care of her and Poppa today. I walked over and let myself in and turned on the lights in the living room so I didn’t scare the crap out of her and waited. She came out and saw me and said hi. Then Poppa started to get up and out of bed, so we both had to tell him to stay in bed. Apparently he’s really wobbly in the mornings. After making sure Mom was up I walked back to our house and fell asleep watching Psych.

After a while Fiks woke up and came out into the living room and grabbed my hands. Apparently they were really cold last night and that had him worried. But they were warm when he came out this morning, so that was good. He sat down with me for a bit, and agreed to go to my optometrist appointment with me, so that was nice.

We basically just killed time until it was time to leave, so that included some more Psych and then some Herizon Forbidden West. Not at the same time tho. When it was time we ran a load of laundry down and started that, then took off for my appointment.

Man, glasses are expensive! All the glasses I really liked were almost $300 just for the frames. I wound up with a cheaper pair that Fiks and I liked on me. But that still ended up costing a pretty penny. That was after getting my eyes checked for my contact lenses. And my card that I wanted to put them on wouldn’t work. So I had to throw it on a different card, which I wasn’t happy about. After getting fitted for said new glasses and contacts Fiks and I went to the grocery store and got everything we needed for the week.

We swung by my Parents house and picked up Fiks’ target bag that was stored in the hay barn, so we stayed and talked about Gucci for a few minutes. We both really miss him, so it nice to know that I’m not totally alone in missing his calming presence. Then we loaded up the bag and headed home. We unloaded the groceries, I put the cold stuff in the fridge while Fiks was moving the laundry, then we settled down for our movie of the week with my Cousin, The Proposal.

Fiks sat and watched the movie with me even, so that was nice. I kept chatting with my Cousin after the movie was over and we ran down the mountain to pick up a van for Fiks’ work. I followed him all the way to the station, and it went faster than I was expecting. We pulled up to the station and I got a hard time from a delivery driver about being in the wrong area, then I said I was Fiks’ wife and he teased me a bit more and then left me alone.

We came home, then ran back out, came back, and I started to finish cleaning the kitchen (which had stuff in it for a few days) so we could cook dinner. We made panko chicken with BBQ broccoli and corn. We got rid of the pickles stuff, neither of us like them. I still think they sent me the wrong dish, but it was a complete set, so I’m not going to complain about it. It turned out really good.

After making dinner we sat down and watched some Psych for a while. Fiks didn’t have gaming with his other gaming group, so he stayed with me for a while, and we talked audio books for a while. He said he canceled his Audible subscription after spending his last 6 credits, he just doesn’t listen to books the way he used too. And I listen when I go to sleep and only have them on for 2 hours at a time now. I think I’m just going to hand out and chill for a while.


How has it been a year already? A year without you by my side? A year without your snorts, your whinnies, your funny faces? A year without your fuzzy kisses. A year of not chasing you around the field. A year without grazing you. A year without worrying about you colicing, getting abscesses, throwing shoes. Who’d have thought I would have missed those worries and concerns. But most of all I miss you. I miss you always there being for me, no matter my emotional state. Never judging or telling me I wasn’t important or special. To help brighten my mood no matter what is going on. For being my motivation to keep going. I miss you’re expressive eyes. I miss your multicolor mane and tail.

I still see you when I go over sometimes. Not all of you, just your ears in the corner of my vision. Peering out the back of the stall, or over the fence at night. Sometimes even at the front gate, but not often. I feel your presence with me sometimes, peering over my shoulder, hoping I have a treat for you. Some days I miss buying you carrots when I go to the grocery store. Some days are easier than others when it comes to missing you. Today being one of the hard ones.

There will never be anyone like you. Anyone to replace you. You will forever have a hoofprint on my heart.


I slept okay last night, waking up once or twice. I didn’t want to wake up this morning. But I dragged out of bed and got my yogurt and snuggled down and watched Psych for a little bit before getting up and getting ready for work. I made my lunch and then I drove down the mountain to get to work.

Today just sucked. I couldn’t do anything right. The other techs were in a foul mood, and I couldn’t seem to make it better. I was rushing as much as I could but I still somehow fell behind and screwed up. We had an ultrasound man come in today to ultrasound 4 or 5 different patients. Well he needs a room to work in, so we had to boot a client from room 1 and then put them in the cat room (aka room 4),so the ultrasound guy could go in there. I would be summoned to help lift up or lift down the patients but I wasn’t allowed to stay and help. Super frustrating.

I didn’t get to lunch until after 2, and then when I came back I just started cleaning. I had 10 minutes to turn over surgery before clients started showing up. Yeah, that didn’t happen. It takes me 15-20 minutes to clean surgery usually, that’s cleaning everything and vacuuming and mopping the floor. I rarely get help anymore, so when there has been 2 surgeries done, and blood on the floor, it takes me a while. I did it though. Then I started cleaning the dental table because no one else had started it.

The attitudes of the day just made it harder with the hectic nature of the day. We cleaned as quick as we could at the end of the day. But we had a lot of laundry to hang since it couldn’t go in the drier because we were done. My coworker was upset for most of the day and it came out at the end of it.

I swung by my Sister’s house and said hi to her and my parents for a little bit. I told them I was tired and grumpy, which was true. I was over dealing with people at that point, even family. I helped bring some water up from the car and then I went home. I got cleaned up and had a snack, not sure on what to do for dinner. I talked with Fiks and ended up ordering Togos. I’ve been watching Psych and waiting for Fiks to come home.


I didn’t sleep the best last night, I was really… anxious about the day. I got up and had my yogurt and watched Psych for a little while before getting ready and going to work. I went down the mountain and got to work a little bit before time, so that was a nice changed. I went in and started working. The day was kinda rough and tumble of a morning, but maybe it was because of my anxiety running my emotions. I thought that the hospital manager had talked to my manager about me leaving early, found out when I asked to leave that I was wrong. I’m sure they bitched about me leaving.

My sister brought my Mom to me at work, so we loaded her up in the truck and took off to her appointment, which went fine. Then we went to the DMV and it was closed. Balls. Afterwards we went to Panda Express for lunch and ate there, then we made our way back to my Sisters house. We had missed Poppa and his physical therapy session, but Mom was tired so she needed a nap. I came home and took a shower, then I walked back to my Sisters to stay with Mom and Poppa while my Sister went and took some time for herself.

I helped Poppa with his Lego’s. We went as far as we could with the parts that he had. It was apparent he had lost some along the way. I talked with Fiks about it later and he said he was having that problem with him opening multiple bags at a time. But we have like 95% of the car done, so that was good. Mom slept to Great British Baking Show for a while. In due time my Sister came back and I went home and made dinner. I forgot to take photos again. Oh well, it was good. It was chicken and teriyaki noodles with carrots. I watched Psych until Fiks came home, and then we watched some YouTube videos until it was time to go to bed.


Again, didn’t sleep the best last night, was worried about today. I was worried about my coworkers being angry and not talking with me unless necessary, and the day just being pure hell. It was only me, K, and A. And the doctors. So you can understand my trepidation. So I ate my yogurt when I got up and then made my way to get dressed and headed down the mountain. I went into the garage and saw that my truck was at an angle and had a flat tire. I know how to change my tire, but I didn’t have time to fix it. I ran over to my Sisters and asked my Parents if I could steal their car for the day. They said yes. So after that I went to work.

The day wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. A was her usual self, but K was very cool and helpful with me today. She showed me a few new holds and explained how and why she was doing them. I need to get better about remembering the holds. Maybe I can practice on Lance and Merlin… hrm…. Anyway, I was rooming everyone all morning, and I was okay with that. We have a new thing where we only have 2 appointments an hour instead of 3, so that helps with the stress. We’re doing this because we are down techs and are running on a skeleton crew (I hope). Maybe once we get more help we will go back to normal.

Anyway, I came home and took a shower then I went over to my Sisters house to relive my Brother of duty and to take the next shift to take care of our Parents. I called AAA for help getting my tire changed. I was nervous about driving on the oh so flat tire. Thankfully it was a proper tow truck that showed up, so it had a built in air compressor. The man was able to pump enough air into the tire so that I could pull it forward far enough that we could get to the tire which is under the bed of the truck. He was able to lower the spare after a fight, and then he switched out the tires. He threw the spare in the bed of my truck and off he went. I went back to my Sisters house and watched NCIS with my parents for a while.


I woke up and got my yogurt and watched some Psych before getting ready for work. Thankfully today was only a half day. I showed up on time and started working. I kept trying to room, or I would help with tech appointments or I would help with nail trims and whatever else the doctors needed. In between patients I kept trying to find something to do. We managed to finish a little early, so we started cleaning early and then we were done.

I swung by Fiks’ work to say hi to him for a little bit. His boss was there so he had to log me in and give me a sticker saying I was authorized to stay there. After I was done hanging out with Fiks I made my way home. I took a shower and had a snack before heading over to my Sisters house and saying hi to my folks. I hung out for a little bit until my Sister came home, then I came home and passed the f out on the sofa. Apparently I was tired.

I woke up to a text from Fiks saying he was on his way home, so I got up and cleaned the kitchen and started cooking dinner. Which I didn’t take a picture of again. But it was good dinner. It was steak with potatoes and Brussel sprouts and a wine demi glaze sauce. I sat down and put on Murder on the Orient Express for a while, Fiks jumped onto his computer. I forgot how many stars were in that movie.

I got up to make brownies and then the movie stopped playing. We couldn’t play halfway through chapter 7 until about chapter 8. So we just started at 8. But its really annoying. I enjoyed the rest of the movie while the brownies cooked. When they were done I let them cool for a little bit and then I walked some over to my Sisters house for her and my Parents to eat. We managed to finish the movie and then we went to bed.


I did not sleep well last night. I was up sick for most of it. I slept on the sofa for a while, and then I moved into bed and slept some more. I moved to the sofa again and slept some more, until it was time to go take my parents over to their house for a little bit. Poppa wanted to work on his computer and Mom wanted to go through some of her clothes and purses and such. But I wasn’t feeling great so I just stayed on the sofa for most of the morning. I helped Mom go upstairs and find her purses that she wanted, then we came back downstairs.

We left after swinging by the barn and picking up some of Fiks’ arrows that were hiding in there. The floor is super sketchy, was nervous about walking on it to be honest. Then we made our way home. I unloaded Mom, Poppa and the Dog and took them into my Sisters house. I set them up with Bridgerton and then I walked home to lie down and take a nap. Fiks was happy to get his arrows, but he got busy playing Horizon Forbidden West.

I slept curled up on the sofa while he played the game. When I woke up I asked if he wanted to go to the local market with me, which he did. He went and got dressed and then we headed to the market. We were able to find everything on Mom’s list, so that was good. We dropped it off and put it in the fridge. Fiks played with his arrows for a while, I lied down on the sofa and watched some Psych for a while. When it was time we went back over to my Sisters and started cooking dinner: Chicken, baby carrots and roasted ranch potatoes. After dinner we played some Uno, and Fiks won almost every hand we played, even with a handicap of 14 cards.

And that’s where I’m going to leave it for this week.

~Just keep swimming~

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